Walking into an emotionally charged, stressful situation, especially one you are not prepared for, is not something anyone would volunteer to do, even if your communication-style is up there with the likes of Dr. Phil. And yet, that is exactly what vets deal with when they close the exam room door and are face-to-face with an upset, sometimes, angry client. Being a vet means dealing with the pain of others who love their Pet; it goes with the territory. Day after day, clients enter your practice feeling distraught because their companion and friend is suffering, or dying, or both. Their worry and sadness causes pain, and unfortunately, when humans hurt, they don’t always handle their feelings in the most productive way. We tend to lash out, and it’s usually at the one who deserves it the least. In this case, you.
When someone is addressing you with an aggressive tone, it’s difficult to keep your emotions contained and not fire back in some way. In fact, after a full day of seeing patients and trying to fit it all in, it’s easy, almost understandable, to retort with a knee-jerk response that stings in return which we know is never a good idea. At best, a tête-à -tête with a valued client will leave you feeling bad and, at worst, cause you to lose business.
Veterinary schools offer helpful information on how to deal with worried, grieving clients, but once you’re out and running a practice of your own, you may find yourself focusing more and more on the physical needs of your patients and less and less on the emotional needs of your clients.
It’s natural to feel a bit angry when someone is hostile towards you, but what you do with your anger can make all the difference in the outcome of your interaction. Below are two simple, but effective strategies that can help you bridge the communication gap between you and your client.
Pause for the cause
It’s been my experience that by merely slowing down the speed of a verbal exchange, I can actually raise the odds of a more positive outcome. Just pausing momentarily before I allow myself to respond allows my brain to engage, evaluate and better diagnose the problem. Solving problems doesn’t happen when our emotions are in the driver’s seat. Allow yourself a moment to process. Create some space to regroup, rethink and redirect.
Sometimes, I find it helpful to actually remove myself, physically, from a high-stress situation. People are accustomed to medical practitioners coming in and out of examining rooms, so excuse yourself from the room, if need be, take a few deep breathes then go back in with your emotions contained and your head on straight. Creating a self-imposed “time out” is an effective tool to gaining composure. Increasing your awareness of your emotional thermostat during stressful times will allow you to adjust your internal temperature up or down accordingly and better prepare you to handle any situation.
Objects are larger then they appear
Before you walk into your next appointment, take a moment to remember that the people who come through your door (unless it’s for a routine exam) are there because they are concerned about a potential health problem with their family member. And, this may not be the only issue they are dealing with. Job loss, family problems and financial struggles might be swirling around in their head too.
When clients are agitated, try to look past what is being presented and respond back with a softer demeanor. When you take a bigger picture perspective and strive to understand your clients better, you inevitably neutralize the tone, and consequently, the outcome of the exchange.
(Print and post a copy of these concepts and use the information to discuss “How to Handle High-Stress Situations” at your next staff meeting.)