The Wagging Tail

Have you heard the phrase “balancing work and family?” To me, it’s misleading and an oxymoron at best because it implies that it is possible to balance your life and find your “happy place.” Kind of hard when these opposing worlds – such as your patients/hospital team, veterinary career and your family – ask for equal amounts of your time, attention and energy. If there was a way, a viable answer out there, that could neatly layout how-you-can-achieve-balance-in-6-easy-steps, could someone figure it out and share it with the rest of us? Who doesn’t feel like we are standing in the middle of an old-fashioned game of Tug-of-War? You’ve got things like clients and Pets that need attention and care as well as a business to run, employees to manage – all on one side, versus a child who needs homework help, not to mention dinner to make, errands to run and a house that needs cleaning.

Remember the objective of Tug-of-War as a child: to get as many people as you could on one side of a rope and collectively pull as hard as possible, combining the strength of each individual, attempting to overpower the opposing side, thus winning the game? I think our lives are like the rope and we stand in the middle holding on, while each respective side, one work and the other family, pulls us in opposing directions, each competing with the other and hoping to win a bigger portion.

Now, if I close my eyes and picture myself, here I am, the official rope holder, trying to keep each side stable, standing not on two feet, but one foot, as I desperately try to maintain balance! That’s what it’s like. Can you see yourself wobbling to stay in an upright position then suddenly falling down with a thud? Your one-foot foundation is not stable enough to keep the rope (your life) up without sending the Rope Holder (you) flying off in one direction or the other.

I don’t expect personal or professional demands to drop out of the game. I think it’s more about creating a broader base of support, a two-footed stance that will withstand the give and take of both sides.

I’ve found that deciding what brings me a sense of contentment, joy and peace, such as taking time for myself, even if its only 20 minutes, a couple times a week, helps me handle life’s constant tugging. If I make it a commitment and actually write it down on my calendar, nothing else short of an emergency will take precedence. You could probably take a little time for yourself out of the hospital even if just for a few minutes each day.

And it’s not about being selfish. If you put something back into your energy source, you’ll have more to give to yourself and to your patients… no matter what side of the rope they are on. Meditation, reading, walking or exercise? What do you do to take time for yourself?